I'm voting Democrat because English has no
place being the official language in
America.

I'm voting Democrat because it's
better to turn corn into fuel than it is to eat.

I'm voting
Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow
drilling for oil off the coasts of America.

I'm voting
Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of
spending my money than I could.

I'm voting Democrat because
when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq I know the Islamic
terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a
good and decent country.

I'm voting Democrat because I
believe people who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three
days can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in ten years
if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my
tires to proper levels.

I'm voting Democrat because it's
alright to kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent,
convicted criminals on death row alive.

I'm voting Democrat
because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to
make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to
the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the
money the way they think it should be redistributed.

I'm
voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing
them, are the cause of crimes and killings.

I'm voting
Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or
me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911
than I can with a gun in my hand.

I'm voting Democrat because
oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene but
government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just
fine.

I'm vo ting Democrat because I believe three or four
elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to
suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past
voters.

I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not
criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid,
hospital services, education, or social services, but are just
people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally.
We can't blame them for that, can we?

I'm voting Democrat
because now I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry
my horse.

Makes ya wonder why anyone would ever vote
Republican, doesn't it?

Source